I was thinking today about how the way I view myself has changed, I don't think I'm hung up on being 40 but I was wondering at how my self impresion has changed, can I really say "I am a perfect being of light, unimprisoned and unemcumbered with 3 dimensions of space and one of time and I know in my being that all material things are illusions" and mean it as some sort of definition of "me" any more? Am I now "Ashley the web designer", or "Ashley the pseudo-parent" . . instead? As well?
Names are power . . I have had many . . . and given most of them up . . . nothing actually matters except the moments in which we live . . . and this has a strong ring of continued truth about it . . .perhaps more so than my notion of myself as a being of light . .
I have often said that the simplest questions are the most profound and the most important: WHO . . AM . . I . . .? is a bloody good question! Its tempting to imagine I am whoever you perceive I am at any given time but the POINT of the question is to somehow describe me and this doesn't do it . . . I used to have a load of little cards that said "Ashley - poet, magician, philosopher" . . and I thought that defined me, never mind described me! I am not, in any practical sense, NAY of these any more now . . .but I am, I have to conclude, still a being of light . . . the NEXT thought is "does that matter?" . . . and I can't satisfactorily answer that either . . .
